Bentley Bentayga 4.0 V8

The design? In-your-face brash, but apparently that’s what the clientele craves. Marc Bolan would have loved it. The packaging? First Class up front, Business Class in row two and now, with the Bentley Bentayga’s seven-seat option, DC-3 in the back.

Even gregarious soccer moms are better off with the standard five-seater. The price? Don’t let the £135k tag fool you. Our fully equipped test car listed at over £187k…

Bentley sold 5600 Bentaygas in 2016, which was way over target. But now that the initial hype is over, the marque quickly needs fresh product to sustain the momentum. While the V8 diesel should work well in Europe, it won’t even be sold in America, China and Japan.

But there are different derivatives to come, like an extended wheelbase show-off version, a less planet-unfriendly V6 petrol hybrid (not the V8 earmarked for the Panamera), a V8 S entry-level model and a coupe, which has to be prettier than the vehicle pictured here.

The diesel badge on the, er, Diesel is a delete option. While there is a slim chance it may curb vandalism in less affluent neighbourhoods, it sure costs in credibility when the Bentley is parked between Astons and Ferraris in the golf club car park. And it may prompt violence in traditionalists.

Historically, the diesel was a poor man’s engine of course, and a poor fit for WO’s cars. In the case of the Bentayga, however, the singing and dancing V8 pushes the art of engineering even beyond the level of the famous 6.0-litre Audi V12 TDI Ferdinand Piech built before dieselgate.

No fewer than three ’chargers accelerate the flow of the mixture. First is an electric compressor which lays on instant take-off torque. Next, a small low-inertia turbo joins the fray with quiet progression between 2200 and 2500rpm, adding twist action by the bagful. From 3500rpm, the third charger kicks butt all the way to the cut-out speed.

Peak torque equals a lofty flatline spanning from 1000 to 3500rpm, where 664lb ft can’t wait to trigger wheelspin meltdown. Although the rev limiter lives high up in the clouds near the 6000rpm mark, visiting it makes no sense at all, unless you insist on sampling 168mph on an empty autobahn.

Via a clever sliding-cam technology applied to the intake and exhaust side, the 4.0-litre V8 meanders continuously between two- and four-valve operation. It’s either minimum consumption or maximum grunt, and it obviously works by magic wand, since it is impossible to decipher the transition. Although the Bentayga V8D weighs about as much as a rhino after drinking his watering hole dry, it can launch itself in a rapid 4.8sec from 0-62mph.

The manufacturer claims an average consumption of 35.8mpg and a range of more than 600 miles, but our Midnight Emerald Shell-o-holic consumed 19.2mpg which can only be blamed in part on the enthusiastic driver. To make the best out of Rudolf Diesel’s invention, it is advisable not to wear lead-soled shoes.

Although it drinks the same juice as a MAN truck or a Mercedes bus, there is no way of telling the combustion method except when pulling up at a filling station. Inside, this diesel-powered cocoon is about as quiet as a pair of noise-cancelling headsets. And as far as the running characteristics go, there are no undue vibrations disturbing the creamy torque delivery.

Thanks to a bunch of mufflers, screens and filters, smelly exhaust gases are not an issue either. Instead, you’re simply taken aback by oodles of prompt and seamless forward thrust. It’s an almost turbine-like urge which can’t wait to introduce you to the horizon, the any-gear-does-it muscle more in line with a continuously variable transmission than a conventional automatic.

With the exception of the available all-season tyres, which spoil the handling because of excessive slip angles and ho-hum wet grip, the 429bhp Bentayga diesel is a thoroughly entertaining all-road express.

It’s less about poise and precision and more about a blend of huge momentum, intuitive controllability, decent deceleration and rsponsive steering.